What are the signs of a romance scam?
Warning signs of a romance scam include requests for money, repeated excuses not to meet, pressure to keep the relationship secret and personal details that do not add up. Another warning sign is someone using a developing relationship to persuade you to invest through a website or app they recommend.
The important question is whether affection and trust are being used to influence your financial decisions. You do not need to wait for several warning signs before refusing a payment.
What is a romance scam?
A romance scam, also called romance fraud, happens when someone uses a supposed romantic relationship to obtain money through deception.
The person may use a false identity, but stolen photographs are not essential to the scam. Someone can use their own appearance, speak to you regularly or meet you in person while lying about their intentions and circumstances.
How much money is lost to romance scams?
UK Finance’s Annual Fraud Report 2026 recorded £39.2 million in romance fraud losses during 2025, an increase of 23% on the previous year.
These figures come from UK Finance’s financial-sector members. They are not an estimate of every romance scam loss in the UK, and they do not tell us how many scammers are operating.
They do show that financial losses from this form of fraud are substantial. Individual cases also reveal how repeated payments can accumulate over months or years.
What warning signs should I look for?
1. Money becomes a condition of helping them or being together
They may ask for help with an emergency, travel, everyday expenses or a problem accessing their own funds. The explanation makes you feel that paying is the only way to protect them or allow the relationship to progress.
Be particularly cautious when one payment is followed by another obstacle requiring more money.
2. Affection turns into pressure when you say no
Notice what happens when you question a request. They may accuse you of not caring, threaten to end the relationship or make you feel responsible for their difficulties.
You do not owe someone money because you have exchanged affectionate messages or discussed a future together.
3. Calls and meetings repeatedly fall through
A missed call or cancelled meeting can have an ordinary explanation. Repeated failed arrangements become more concerning when the person continues asking for money or making significant commitments without resolving basic questions about their identity.
An overseas job is not evidence of fraud. Examine the explanation and the request rather than treating a particular occupation as suspicious.
4. They discourage you from discussing the situation
Privacy is different from asking you to conceal payments, ignore friends or mislead your bank.
If someone tells you to invent a reason for a transfer or dismiss fraud warnings, stop. You should be able to discuss a financial decision with someone independent of the relationship.
5. Their identity or background conflicts with other evidence
Their photographs may appear under another name, their work history may contradict their account, or different profiles may contain incompatible details.
Check the source and context before reaching a conclusion. An old listing or a namesake can create an apparent discrepancy. A substantial, unexplained conflict is more useful evidence than a vague impression that a profile looks unusual.
6. They introduce an investment opportunity
The request may be presented as a way to improve your future together rather than a loan or gift. They might offer to teach you how to trade or direct you to a cryptocurrency platform.
The Financial Conduct Authority warns that crypto investment scams can use professional-looking websites and manipulated software to display false prices and returns. A convincing balance on a screen is not proof that an investment exists or that your money can be withdrawn.
Do not invest through a link or platform simply because someone you are romantically involved with recommends it.
What does a real romance fraud case look like?
In March 2026, the Crown Prosecution Service reported that Thomas Godden had been sentenced to three years’ imprisonment after admitting fraud against three men he met through Tinder and Bumble.
The men lost £28,502.96 between them. Godden asked for money for living costs and promised repayment. When challenged, he became hostile, used emotional pressure and threatened to end the relationships. He also repeatedly failed to meet one victim after that person had travelled to see him.
This case illustrates how ordinary-sounding expenses, promises of repayment and pressure within a relationship can work together. A scam does not need an elaborate international emergency to cause serious harm.
Does a long relationship or a video call rule out fraud?
No. Time spent talking establishes that someone has maintained contact. It does not establish that their financial requests are truthful.
A video call can help you see who is speaking, but it does not verify their employment, finances or intentions. Meeting in person does not make a request for money safe either.
For more on checking identity, read How do I know if I’m being catfished?.
What should I do if someone I met online asks for money?
Never send money to someone you have only met online and have not met in person. This includes gift cards, cryptocurrency and payments to another person on their behalf.
Do not share banking passwords or security codes, take out borrowing for them, or let them use your account to receive and forward money.
Pause the conversation and discuss the request with someone you trust. You do not need to prove a scam before saying no.
What if I have already paid?
Contact your bank or payment provider immediately. Explain what happened and ask whether the payment can be stopped or recovered. Keep messages, account details, profile links and transaction records.
Report Fraud’s romance fraud guidance explains how to report in England, Wales and Northern Ireland. In Scotland, contact Police Scotland on 101.
Do not make another payment to release funds, secure a refund or prove your trust. Do not wait for a private investigation before contacting your bank.
Would an investigation help?
An investigation may help when there are unresolved questions about identity, photographs or background. It can uncover relevant information and assess discrepancies that your own searches have not explained.
If you already have evidence of fraud or are under pressure to pay, protecting your money and reporting the incident come first. You do not need to purchase a review to take those steps.
Plainview’s role is to investigate the digital evidence and explain what it supports. Decisions about recovering payments belong with your bank or payment provider.
Last reviewed: 5 October 2026.