Is it normal for someone I met online to avoid video calls?

Someone may avoid video calls because they feel uncomfortable on camera, lack privacy or have a poor connection. Refusing a call does not, by itself, mean they are using a false identity.

Repeatedly agreeing to calls that never happen deserves closer attention, particularly if their explanations change or they are asking for money. Consider what else you know about them and whether their actions match what they say.

Why might someone genuinely dislike video calls?

Some people find video conversations awkward or intrusive. They may share their home, feel self-conscious or prefer to get to know someone through messages first. Accessibility needs, work commitments and unreliable internet can also make calls difficult.

They may simply tell you that they do not want to use video. That is different from repeatedly promising a call and inventing a new explanation each time it falls through.

You can respect their preference while deciding what you need before taking the relationship further.

When does avoiding video calls become a warning sign?

Look at what happens when you try to make a reasonable arrangement:

  • Do they suggest a suitable alternative and keep to it?

  • Does the explanation change each time?

  • Have several agreed calls fallen through without a workable replacement?

  • Do they respond to a straightforward request with guilt, anger or pressure?

  • Are there separate concerns about their photographs, personal details or requests for money?

For example, cancelling once and suggesting a call the following evening is different from claiming a broken camera for months while pressing you to pay for a visit.

The concern is the combination of avoidance, unresolved questions and what they are asking you to commit to.

North Yorkshire Police includes excuses to avoid live video calls among the warning signs in its romance fraud guidance. That makes repeated avoidance worth examining alongside other evidence; it does not establish deception on its own.

How can I ask for a video call without sounding suspicious?

Keep the request simple and give them a choice of times:

“We’ve been talking for a while and I’d like to have a quick video call. Would Tuesday or Thursday evening suit you?”

If calls have already been cancelled, acknowledge that directly:

“We’ve arranged a few calls that haven’t happened. Is there something making video difficult, or a time that would work better?”

A short call through the dating platform, where that option is available, may feel more comfortable than exchanging further contact details.

Avoid turning the conversation into an interrogation. The aim is to understand the difficulty and see whether you can agree on a practical next step.

Does a video call prove someone is who they say they are?

A live conversation can help you assess whether the person resembles their photographs and responds naturally. It does not establish their name, occupation, relationship status or intentions.

Someone can appear on camera while giving a false account of their life. In June 2026, North Yorkshire Police also warned about criminals using AI-generated content to imitate phone calls and video chats with celebrities as part of romance fraud. This demonstrates why seeing a familiar face on screen should not be treated as proof of identity.

Use a video call alongside other evidence, such as consistent account history and independently supported details. Do not treat a successful call as a reason to overlook a serious contradiction or send money.

What if they send a recorded video or voice message instead?

A recording is not the same as a live conversation. It may show or sound like the person in the profile, but it does not establish who controls the account.

Photographs and recordings can be copied from a real person. Finding that person elsewhere online may reveal whose material is being used without identifying the person messaging you.

Voice messages can help you communicate, but they do not independently confirm a name or background.

Can I spot a fake video call?

You may notice unusual movements, mismatched speech or a conversation that does not respond properly to your questions. However, poor connections can also cause delays and distorted pictures.

There is no simple visual test that reliably settles whether a call is genuine. Asking someone to wave or turn their head should not be treated as conclusive proof.

If something seems wrong, end the call and consider the wider evidence. You do not have to resolve the issue while the other person is waiting for an answer.

What else can I check if they will not video call?

Start with the details relevant to your concern:

  • Photographs: use reverse image searches and examine the original pages behind any matches.

  • Public profiles: compare names, dates and account history with what they have told you.

  • Work claims: look for relevant professional information, taking care not to confuse people with the same name.

  • Their account of events: check whether important details remain consistent across conversations.

An unsuccessful search leaves a question unanswered. It does not prove that the person is genuine or that they are deceiving you.

Our guide, How do I know if I’m being catfished?, explains these checks in more detail.

What should I do if they still refuse?

Decide what you are comfortable with and explain it plainly:

“I’m happy to keep talking, but I’m not comfortable making travel plans or financial commitments while we haven’t established who we’re speaking to.”

Do not pay for a replacement phone, camera or travel arrangement as a way to secure proof of identity.

If the uncertainty remains unacceptable to you, you can step back. You do not need to prove deception before deciding that the relationship is not giving you enough confidence to continue.

Would a professional investigation help?

It may help if the unanswered question concerns their identity or background and your own checks have not resolved it.

Plainview Investigations uses specialist digital searches and independent research to find relevant profiles, image matches and connections, then assess how those findings compare with the information you have been given.

An investigation cannot tell you why someone dislikes video calls. Its purpose is to examine specific identity claims and discrepancies.

If the only issue is their preference for messaging, a conversation about what each of you needs may be more useful than paying for a review.

Sources and further reading

Last reviewed: 5 October 2026.

← Back to Knowledge Centre